Buddhism for Mothers (Chapter 1)

Buddhism and Motherhood

This first chapter of Buddhism for Mothers is basically a primer on Buddhism…who, what, where, when, why, and how?

The focus of this chapter is an introduction to the teachings of the Buddha, the essence of which, “is captured by the Four Noble Truths” (Napthali, p. 4) and how these teachings relate to mothering…

Truth #1. There is suffering. In other words, life is not perfect. Life brings anxiety, discomfort, and irritation. Think sleepless nights, tantrums, worries about our children’s health, and so on…

Truth #2. Attachment causes suffering. In other words, our suffering is caused by our own desires and expectations. Our desires may include unrealistic expectations of our children; wanting our children to be like us, believe like us, and act like us; or simply wanting our children to have the best clothes, the best toys, the best of everything…

Truth #3. Suffering can end. We only need to become enlightened! In my case, this is likely to take quite some time!

Truth #4. There is a path to end suffering. The path to enlightenment requires us to become wise (we must be thoughtful and understanding), ethical (we must speak, act, and live with compassion, kindness, and fairness toward others), and mentally displined (primarily through the practice meditation; more about this later in the book)…

By following this path, the author concludes that we will benefit ourselves as mothers, as well as our children.

On a personal note, the above message comes to me at a challenging time. I have been in quite the “funk” for the past two weeks. I have been mopey and short-tempered with my husband and my children. I haven’t been enjoying my children the way I “should.” I can’t quite put my finger on what is bothering me…but I think the answer lies somewhere in unrealistic expectations for myself and for others. Work is challenging and I can’t keep up with the chores at home either. I have a task list a mile long and lack the energy to put a dent in it. I want to be the “perfect mother” but don’t have the energy to do that either. I haven’t been blogging or writing as much as usual (I did, however, receive two more rejection letters from publishers this week). I’m struggling just to be “good enough” these days…

Perhaps the way out of this mess starts with the first Noble Truth…acceptance that there is and always will be suffering in this life. From there, I can move on to letting go of some of my unrealistic expectations. Clearly, I am unable to accomplish (perfectly, no less) all that is on my “to do” list at this time. I shall start with one small task per day and call that “good enough.” And I will give my kids some extra hugs and kisses…

Best Wishes,

Michelle

P.S. I hope some of you will read along with me and share your thoughts on the book, applying it to your life, and so on…