Buddhism for Mothers (Chapter 2)

Parenting Mindfully

“Wherever we go, wherever we remain, the results of our actions follow us.” — The Buddha

Like most moms, I tend to pride myself on my ability to multi-task. You know, talking on the phone while giving my kids a bath. Paying bills while my kids play on the floor below my desk. Thinking about my “To Do” list while reading bedtime stories….and so on. However, this “efficiency” comes at a cost. First of all, it isn’t really efficient because it’s hard to actually accomplish anything with my mind spread so thin. Today, for example, I started loading the dishwasher in the morning, sorting my mail in the afternoon, and folding laundry in the evening. Come time for bed, the dishwasher was still full of dirties, the mail was in multiple piles all over the dining room table, and I had to dump the laundry back into the empty basket just to be able to lie down.

The second cost of multi-tasking is that it prevents me from being mindful to the task at hand (whatever that may be). What does it mean to be mindful? It means “knowing what’s happening at the time it’s happening” (Napthali p. 19). For example, listening when our children speak to us, noticing our own feelings, and recognizing what’s going on around us.

Being mindful for our kids means:

• Listening to them
• Trying to understand their point of view
• Treating them with respect
• Keeping realistic expectations of our children
• Being “present” for their special and everyday moments

Being mindful for ourselves means:

• Willingness to learn from our children
• Maintaining awareness of our own feelings and needs
• Saving energy by concentrating on one task at a time
• Increasing calmness by focusing on the present
• Understanding that everything we do or say to our children will have some result

My lesson for this week: Appreciate the abundance of special moments in my life, even in the most ordinary of days.

With a “Beginner’s Mind”,

Michelle

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